The Phenomenon Known As Direct Deposit

What happened to the good ol' days when people actually went to the bank and stood in line to cash/deposit their checks. Well, those days are still here - lucky for us. I know they're still here because I see it whenever I go to the bank! Is there anything wrong with it? Absolutely not! I LOVE going to the bank! These are the people that handle your money, for crying out loud!!! So don't you think that they deserve a little love? What would happen to my banker friend, Jonathon, if people stopped visiting him?

Ah! Maybe the banks pay them more when they are sad because no one visits them. That is why they raise their rates - so they can compensate for the sadness we cause the bankers that we don't visit. Oh, I'm a genius. I think I've almost got the entire world figured out...

Anyway...I caved and got direct deposit. Yay for me! (a la London Tipton from "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. See previous posts for my comments on them.) Oh, those kids crack me up!

Debitcardopoly

Just to warn you guys, I'll be carrying a new card in my wallet - and this is one you should be jealous of!!! (Yes, English teachers, I KNOW, don't end a sentence with a preposition. I got it - I'm just excited.)

The UK and Aussie versions of Monopoly has updated it's format to reflect today's lifestyle. More and more people carry cards and not as much cash, so they've re-created the board game - eliminated the money and replaced it with "Visa" Monopoly debit cards and a handheld scanner to swipe the card to complete transactions.

Check it out!

My only question is: Why couldn't the U.S. think of it first??

Oh Boyband...

Every time a new boy band emerges, a new wave of "they're gay" jokes comes crashing down on their fans. Leave it to Lance Bass of 'NSync to put some truth to it all.

Yes, yes...I was a fan of 'NSync...

Yes, yes...I know you were right...

Blah blah blah.

Eye Contact

In general, close up shots of eyes scare the crap out of me. Knowing this, one friend decided that I needed to be scared every other day with different pictures of these creatures (see left). With clever lead-ins like, "Whoa." Who wouldn't be intrigued, right?

I guess they function as a Furby would (i.e. they talk to you) and look just as creepy, but with no fur. Does that make this an "Eyeby"?

Trying to work through my fear...

HOLY MACAQUE - The REAL Poor Monkey!!

Oh, the Dutch! Only in Dutchland* would there come a story like this...On Sunday morning (in front of visitors, no less), a bear chased and caught a monkey, then dragged it into the den where the Three Bears (tired of porridge) ATE THE POOR MONKEY! One of the bears thought it was too hot...another thought it was too cold...and the baby bear thought the monkey was JUST RIGHT. :)

Before the attack...

After the attack

* Happy, Jay?

National Ice Cream Month

July is National Ice Cream Month, as declared by President Reagan; but it is by mere coincidence that I have been crazily obsessed with ice cream for the past two weeks.

One example, for instance, is Blue Bell ice cream. I'm from California, so I've never heard of it, but it's supposed to be pretty great. So I've done searches, and more searches, and more searches. All I found is that you can buy it directly from their factory (in Texas), and it's only $90 for 4 half-gallons. It might seem like a steep price for ice cream, but luckily one of the Blue Bell fans quickly straightened me out. That comes out to about $4-5 dollars/pint, "which is just a little more than one would pay for Ben & Jerry's or Haagen Daaz." Argh, I'm such a cheapskate that I don't even buy Ben & Jerry's at it's regular price of $3.99 or whatever it is. I wait until it's 2 for $5!!!!!!! I still have some soul searching to do before jumping on this $90 ice cream. AND I'm still debating a purchase of liquid nitrogen to make my own ice cream.

I blog about ice cream a lot, don't I? OH, what a fat kid...

Jump in My Car!!

Need I say more?!

World of WHAT?!

Stephen Colbert is a great man. Now that he's endorsed this game - count me in!!

[12:05:45] To [Defar] What time is the raid??? :)
[12:06:17] [Defar] No way...are you actually going to play?
[12:07:00] Allulah has joined the raid group.
[12:11:09] Allulah rolls her eyes at herself because she can't believe she actually did this...

MILLION BILLION TRILLION GAZILLION

This morning at our SSC meeting, someone explained to us the difference between one million and one billion! The illustration he gave: "One million seconds is 11 days; one billion seconds is 33 years."

This was welcome information because I didn't know the difference, and even more welcome because it made the meeting longer and gave us less time to complete the work we're being paid to do. I checked on Y*HOO Answers! to verify his answer, and he was mostly right.

I wonder if he asked Dr. Math to get the answer...
1 million seconds = 11 1/2 days
1 billion seconds = 33 1/2 years

Talk about amazing facts...

Barry's Bond

Remember when Kobe's trial was underway, and all of the news reporters were so identically clever that they all came up with Kobe going "from court to court"??? Get it? THAT'S SO FUNNY (credit: Mandy Moore on "Scrubs")because it's two completely different kinds of courts! The legal court and the basketball court!!! See? SO CLEVER! Now YOU get it.

OH, and don't forget - it's funny EVERY SINGLE TIME.

[I know. The media is clever. Patience, grasshopper. You'll get the hang of it.]

I'm predicting that their new identically clever phrase will come about with Barry Bonds and his little sticky situation. Looks like he'll be indicted pretty soon and the judge will have to set his bond. Get it? Bond's Bond! YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!

[Good thing I don't charge royalties...those news reporters would owe me. MEEELLIONS*.]

* Do it like Dr. Evil and his pinky...DO IT!!!

The Sweet Suite Life

If you haven't yet seen the TV show "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody," I highly recommend that you watch it. It's one of those kid comedies that adults find humorous as well. It stars Dylan and Cole Sprouse, who both played the little boy in "Big Daddy" with Adam Sandler. This show teaches valuable lessons - how to get along with (i.e. trick them and be forgiven) family/friends/your twin brother [very helpful information just in case you ever get yourself a twin], how to survive in a hotel (it's a tough life if you have to live there day after day after day...), how to cheer for yourself ("Yay, me!" - in case you were wondering), and of course, the correct way to say, "DUH!"

Check your local listings for showtimes.

I Keep on Fallin...

One would think that, with this heading, this section would be a tribute to Alicia Keys.

Unfortunately, this is just my way of telling everyone what a klutz I am. On Friday, I walked into Kmart wearing wooden shoes, caught the edge on the shiny floor, and fell. I thought that something spilled and I slipped on it, but nope...dry floor.

Later on, I was with my brother at Target. As we walked through the detergent section, someone actually had spilled some liquid detergent on the floor. Being as talented as I am, I found the spot so I could slip again! Luckily, I didn't fall to the ground. Everyone around me asked to see if I was okay...except for the Target employee that was standing right next to me. Great customer service, huh?

Twice in one day...what are the odds?

Manatee-mania

I guess there's a manatee party on the coast of Florida. They've just been taken off the Florida endangered species list, so if you're looking for manatees, you should be able to find them in Florida. Should you be looking for a specific manatee (i.e., Barbara Manatee), you might want to do this with the assistance of a song...

Barbara Manatee (Manatee, Manatee)

You are the one for me (one for me, one for me)

Sent from up above (up above, up above)

You are the one I love (I love, I love, I love)

If you don't know this song, brush up on your Veggie Tales.

OOOHHH....FACE!

I'm in desperate need of some good comebacks. "Your Mom" is getting kind of tired - even in other languages. Any suggestions? I guess now you can leave comments for me.

(With attitude) Hello?! This is a burrito/taco conversation...NACHOS...

If you don't mind, I'm going to make like a Tom and cruise...

If you need an explanation, feel free to ask me to say the line for you.

I Want to Hold Your Haaand...

I love the Beatles, but this is not about them.

So apparently, there's this 300-year old book that they found that is bound in human skin! It is called anthropodermic bibliopegy. This was sometimes used in the 18th and 19th centuries when accounts of murder trials were bound in the killer's skin. Why don't you just read the entire story yourself...

I wonder if they used any guidelines in which parts of the body they used skin from...

This sure gives new meaning to the word "handbook"...eww.

LN2 Ice Cream

WHAT kind of ice cream??

Leave it to the kitchen scientists to come up with the greatest home cooking project ever!!!

What am I talking about?

Instead of buying that icy ice cream that is on sale (see below), I think that I would be better off investing in a tank of liquid nitrogen. I could use that and my KitchenAid mixer (my pride and joy that lives in a box) to make my own deeeeelicious ice cream!

41-round Spelling Bee

MUMPSIMUS - a person who persists in a mistaken expression or belief.

Not the winning word, but according to my calculations...it is definitely more interesting than the word she spelled to win (which was: galenical - a medicinal preparation made mostly of herbs or vegetable matter...BOOORING).

Can you use that in a sentence please?!

Ice Cream On Sale

So...my sissy and I went ice cream shopping. "Buy One, Get One Free" deals are usually something to celebrate, right? In this case, it didn't do us much good. If my ice cream looked like this, I'd give it away for free.

$ New Money $

No, not new monKey...new MONEY! The new, improved, more colorful, brilliantly spectacular $10 bills are here! If you need a place to put your old $10 bills, please click here.

Pig Latin 101

How wonderful that the basis of most conversation - the Latin language - has a cousin that contributes to the communication world. For those of you who understand it, GOOD FOR YOU! For those who don't - you poor monkey. I was going to provide a lesson for those who need introduction to the language, but I have been convinced to withhold the information.